Calendars: containing or coping mechanisms?

Alongside my calendar I have a scheduling book. It is a simple composition book, with the paper held in with a string so it is not easy to rip out a page.

It is in this book, I carry my life. I write the week at the top of the two page spread, and begin writing all my tasks for the week, bulletins to form, people to visit, confirmation to plan.

I carry this book along with my calendar- they just fit in my work bag, alongside my laptop.

My husband makes fun of me, and tells me I live by my calendar, but it isn't true. I live because of this schedule book. Every time I wake up in the middle of the night, knowing I should talk to someone, re-arrange communion or have a sermon idea... I write it down.

THEN... I can fall back asleep

The Vatican, in a new light

You just gotta love the Roman Catholic Church...

Calendario Romano 2008

Free February 29!

I'm of the mind frame that since my daily devotion doesn't have an option for February 29, today should be a totally free, completely wide open, entirely useless day.

There is a light fresh coat of snow on the ground, covering all the spring ugly, dirty snow. The skis are waxed, the dog is hyper, the thermometer is not in the negative numbers!

But, there are sermons to write, funerals to plan, visits to make and blogs to keep up.

So I'm starting now. In four years, we'll have a movement. Free February 29!

must get off facebook
must not start new scrabulous game
must begin sermon prep- for 3 different services
must not re-watch Chocolat

"Good opinion once lost, is lost forever"

What is it about curling up with a Jane Austin book or movie to provide the nicest of winter distraction?

The British airs, the veiled insults, the poignient social commentary, yet all packaged in a beautiful and polished story. All the heroines, especially Elizabeth, Ann, Elinor and Emma have the wit and wisdom I wish I could sum up at a moment's notice.

Ahh, to only have an afternoon to watch them all, especially the Sunday Masterpiece Theater specials.

St. Inuksuk at Signs Along the Way tagged me for this meme, I can handle this today!

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. (no cheating!)
Their Eyes Were Watching God
by: Zora Neale Hurston
HarperPerennial, 1990

Find page 123.
Find the first 5 sentences.
Post the next 3 sentences.
Dirt roads so rich and black that a half mile of it would have fertilized a Kansas wheat field. Wild cane on either side of the road hiding the rest of the world.
People wild too.

Tag 5 people!
Well, often when these come my way, all have been tagged- but I will offer it to any of you, but hopefully:
Primary Wonder
Pink Shoes
Sabbath Seeking
Walking Wet
Everyday Soup

Holy Grounds: Ashes to Ashes

The honor and weight of imposing ashes initially came as a surprise to me. Somehow during my seminary training I never marked others with ashes myself on Ash Wednesday. Since I have been at this congregation, that duty has gone to me.

Last night the imposition of ashes was very weighty. My role as worship leader became very, very difficult. For me to hear the words is one thing: Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.

For me to give out the words and the ashes is entirely different.

To remind people of death, to mark innocent babies, hopeful youth, a new mother, a wizened grandfather... and especially the woman fighting with cancer...

Well, it was like placing a death sentence on their hopes. I don't want to mark their lives. I don't want to impose ashes.

But as we moved into communion, the ability to give the body of Christ transformed these ashes into new life. Into hope, as I marked the cross on young ones, blessing them, the cross took on new meaning again.

Dust, Ashes, Water, Wheat, Wine. Holy Ground indeed

Yes We Can

1 month later...

January-
the month of reports, retreats, meetings, and annual everything. My apologies for the long silence. It's like the friend you know you haven't contacted in a while, and you should, but then it's a little late for the casual conversation.... so....

Back in the swing of things, coming out from under the the mountain of work, reinvigorating the creative energies to other things than lent planning.

Until then...

Holy Ground: A January Morning

I woke up tired today... the shortened hours of daylight do not help much. But at least it was slightly above zero this morning. Slightly.

It's the post Christmas slump, it's the ache of missing family and conversation I reveled in for 3 days. It's the Christmas tree starting to slump to the side.

But then I read the NYTimes Article

And I am hopeful again.

I have some education to do here, especially when the otherwise open folks here don't "want a president whose name I'm can't pronounce" (they are Finnish, have you ever tried to pronounce Finnish? Obama is nothing compared to that)

But today... this new year... I am hopeful

We here highly resolve...

A wise person once told me never to start new year resolutions on the first day of the new year.
Sound advice, since this holiday is usually spent finishing up those Christmas cookies, bars and creamy things that survived the previous week and will only head to the trash and that's wasting food...

The guilt is removed if we start on January 2nd. We are ready to begin after the hangover has left.

It is important to begin a year free from guilt. Guilt has never been a good motivator for people, it is simply a fear tactic. The church has been using guilt for years and now it seems to be deteriorating from it. (it only took1600 years, but still)

But I'm starting to see lovely trends where people are no longer starting new year resolutions out of guilt or a desire to refine oneself, but rather as an opportunity to celebrate and enliven the self. However, if you want a cheap treadmill, look for it at the used places in April. Seriously.

These are the resolutions that make it. These are the ones that take root and grow. Successful resolutions from my friends:
Starting a blog, attending a show each month, learning to knit, taking belly dance lessons, cooking a new cuisine every month... the list goes on.

So my resolutions for the new year?
Read more fiction,
Fix my bicycle,
Learn (not master) the art of French cooking, and... lose 15 lbs :)

and the three mystery days...

I'm too tired to create, so I'm sharing this great classic Christmas song from up north here.
It's just audio, but you can imagine the greatness!

Finally

The Final Cello Countdown

Time?

I think it was the Tao of Pooh that mentioned one cannot save time only spend it...

Well. It seems that there has been a landslide of time being spent... So much so, that it seems the bank is overdrawn.

So if we can't save time, only spend it; what happens when there seems to be none left?

One scenario: get sick and lose one's voice. Thus going into more time debt.

Friday Five: Preparation, preparation

Prayers go out to Sally as she writes:
This has been a difficult week for me, the death of a little six year old has overshadowed our advent preparations, and made many of us here in Downham Market look differently at Christmas. With that in mind I ask whether you are the kind of person that likes everything prepared well in advance, are you a last minute crammer, or a bit of a mixture..... Here then is this weeks Friday 5:

1. You have a busy week, pushing out all time for preparing worship/ Sunday School lessons/ being ready for an important meeting ( or whatever equivalent your profession demands)- how do you cope?
Just kinda barrel on through. Although a good glass of red wine at the end of the day often helps...


2. You have unexpected visitors, and need to provide them with a meal- what do you do?
Behold, the power of cheese. We always seem to have cheese available in our household. We love the cheese, and our lovely cheese monger - who we make a pilgrimage to at least once a month- has us set up well, ready for any and all people who come to share the beauty of cheese. Oh. and wine. maybe Belgian beer as well....


3. Thinking along the lines of this weeks advent theme; repentance is an important but often neglected aspect of advent preparations.....
When I lived in Russia I was first introduced to the idea of Advent being a mini-Lent, of sorts. The orthodox priests described it as the 'short' fast. Since then I've come to appreciate colleagues and friends who take this time to return to the source, either by cutting things from their diet, or purposefully stay away from the capitalist Utopia which we call Christmas shopping. Advent is a call to return to our source.


4. Some of the best experiences in life occur when you simply go with the flow.....
Hmmm. Not an easy statement for us type A personalities to, uh, flow with.


5. Details are everything, attention to the small things enables a plan to roll forward smoothly...
Well, details are important, but not everything. There is enough of a rebel in me to enjoy some unexpected aspects... especially when I am reminded that I am not in charge of everything, the world does not rest on my shoulders, it's like the quote I have in the front of my calendar:
"You are not totally, personally, irrevocably responsible for everything.
That's my job.
~God"


Bonus if you dare- how well prepared are you for Christmas this year?
Ha! I laugh at the thought!
Are we really ever prepared for Emmanuel?
but
Emmanuel is ready and waiting for us

early, early morning wanderings

I woke up at 4:07 this morning.

Actually, that was what the clock said when I finally gave up on finding a comfortable sleeping position, and turned to see how middle of the night it really was.

It has been a few weeks since I have woken up thinking (OK, obsessing) about things. Usually my tendency is to wake up around 1:30 or 2am, but 4pm, well it's just late enough in the morning, that falling back asleep will really mess with the REM cycle.

So, I got up. The worries about everything: from trying to quiet down folks during the prelude to worship, to finding money to increase staff salaries, to broaching the topic with my folks about bringing the dog with to Christmas celebrations, to getting the press release out about the concert... the list goes on.

What is it about laying (lying?) prone at 4am that starts this tidal wave of thoughts, concerns, worries and fears. Everything is amplified as I look up at the bedroom ceiling. Everything seems to rise or fall based on my ability to keep the people in pew 3 on the right from talking during the music director's prelude.

So, I rose, grabbed a notebook and started writing down everything that was swimming in my mind. Set it aside, made the coffee, prepped food for supper tonight, cleaned up clutter in the rooms of the house, and waited for the light to come.

And as it gradually got lighter, the fears and worries melted away. No beautiful sunrise, just a growing glow. No epiphany of understanding, just a steady dissipating of fear.

The light shines in the darkness. And the darkness has not overcome it.

A little early holiday spirit

What Would Jesus Buy?

holy and steep ground

The past few weeks have held many, many things. But this morning I get to sit, looking out of our front window at the gently falling snow, and reconnect with my writing self, my quiet self, and my warm and furry dog (the last one, a bit strange, yes, but big, hairy dogs are quite wonderful this time of year.)

Today feels somewhat like standing at the top of a huge sledding hill, looking out at the well traveled path ahead, but still learning the turns and curves that are veiled with this year's new snow.

It's a huge and steep hill, for the next months will be a fast paced ride. And in sledding one really doesn't have time to plot the course, but rather we react to what comes, and rely on our vision that we had at the top.

So as I stand at the top, looking out toward the valleys which hold the Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter free falls of joy, the Advent and Lent tree-shaded difficult paths, and the Epiphany moments of bright light, I stand in wonder at this whirlwind ride that is about to begin.

It will pass in a flash of light, and when we reach the bottom, we gather up our sleds, our strewn out mittens and boots, pulling them together to begin climbing back to the top to begin our ride again next year.

So with a deep breath, a quick sign of the cross and a jump start... we're off!

I should have knocked on wood...

I should not have tempted fate with my last post.

The past week was powerful, beautiful chaos. But in the midst of it, I don't feel as if I am off-set from a place of peace. This is rather unusual. Perhaps it is that I now have a few years of full time ministry under my belt, and I'm no longer scrambling to keep up with congregational and worship life.

Or perhaps it is growth.

A colleague who is new to ministry had been commenting to another who had been in ministry for 30 years, about how she had lost sight of her own spiritual discipline. His reply: 'welcome to pastoral ministry.'

Now, this is not a new phrase or comment for most of us who work in parish life in some form. Which, in and of itself, is terribly sad. But for a veteran of this call to welcome a new pastor to a rather hope-less voyage of ordained ministry...

But it does not have to be this way. This is not the path of ordained ministry I signed up for, nor will I follow it. When we are called to offer a Gospel path to the folks who asked us to serve their congregation, we are called to take care of our own spiritual lives and invite them to care for theirs as well.

Peace in chaos
Creation in stillness
Prayer in demanding times
Hope in bare, unyielding landscapes.

Holy Grounds: November Days

I think November may be the quietest month of the church year.
There are no new programs beginning for the fall.
High school games are done with their regular seasons.
Most confirmation Sundays are in October or April.
The first three Sundays are pretty low in attendance due to deer hunting season.
Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter... all of them still a hopeful planning distance away.

In the north country, November doesn't bring an end to autumn, that has long since been over. There are no more colors on the trees, or in the distances. Harvest has long since been over as has all the canning activities that go with it.

So November is the stark month. There is no beautiful blanket of snow to cover the brown grass or muddy trails. There are few holiday lights decorating houses (thank God) for the first part of the month.

The landscape is bare, the air is cold, the wind carries woodsmoke, the land has gone into hibernation.

It is quiet, and it is absolutely beautiful.