I just had lunch with a young woman whose wedding I will be officiating at next month. Normally, I admit, I don't like doing weddings. They are a lot of work, mentally, emotionally, and very, very time consuming. As many pastors will say, I'd rather do a funeral any day over a wedding.
But- when I do them outside of the church, for non-members, as is the case with this woman and her fiance, I have to say, I really enjoy officiating at them.
Perhaps it is because I am no longer "in charge" of the wedding ceremony. Of course, I still help them plan it, but I simply show up, run the rehearsal and then the ceremony.
Perhaps it is because I don't know the extended families of the bride and groom. I don't need to know the idiosyncrasies, the histories, the who is not talking to who because of what stuff.
Perhaps it is because most weddings outside are a little less formal, so the illusion of a perfect wedding is lessened, and there are few "bridezillas" or "MOB dictators" (that is, mother-of the-bride)
I am a detailed person, I like things to run smoothly and with grace. But weddings, when millions upon millions of dollars are caught up in the wedding industry, I have a hard time finding the grace necessary for marriage when people are freaking out about floral decorations.
Maybe I should just start my own church policy: "I'll be happy to do your wedding, we can have the vows right after the sermon and before communion at Sunday worship. Otherwise, I'll show up at the nearest state park, and witness your vows under the pine trees."
Think it'll catch on?
2 comments:
I wish!
I officiated at my son's wedding in just that setting: or actually, between the absolution and the offertory...it was an "instructed wedding" and all the children in the parish came and sat on the carpet around the couple so they could see and hear.
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