My congregation is just fantastic about respecting my day off. They really are.
The only calls I might receive are from my office manager (because no one ever respects her day off!) or the funeral director.
But living in a small town, there are people who either A. don't have a pastor, and call me. or B. don't go to their own pastor, and call me.
Unfortunately, they don't understand the concept of a sabbath. They call me at my home. It's gotten to the point that I don't answer the phone much on this day- yes, I admit it, I screen my calls.
For some people, they apologize for bothering me on my day off, but could I:
"do this thing that could easily have been done tomorrow, that actually could have been taken care of by the office staff, but since the office is closed, I am calling you, because I am thinking about it now."
or
"Hello, I wanted to invite you to my house today to sit with me and have tea" translation: I know you are not my pastor, but mine won't listen to me, so I am assuming you will help me under the guise of me trying to be your friend."
This latter one will translate in to rant part 2, but for now:
Why, why, why?
Thanks, I'm feeling better already!
6 comments:
My pastor friend in TX has two cell phones (and no home phone). She has one "work" cell, which she doesn't answer while she is off, and a personal cell which she doesn't answer while at work. When parishoners call her personal phone, and get upset that she won't answer, she just tells them she won't take personal calls while she is working. Actually, I don't think she ever answers the phone--she just always calls back.
My father used to work for a small town clinic and hospital - and would get called in to the emergency room at 3 or 4 am to treat someone who had some malady for the last three weeks. They may be the same people who want you to provide pastoral care under the guise of a friendly visit for tea.
Blessings!
Oh! You are so right not to answer your phone on the day off - nothing wrong with screening calls :)
Rant on, friend.
oh dear friend... you are not alone in this phenomena of bad manners. boonievilles, podunks, and other sundry places have this element. good for you screen your calls! say no! set boundaries!! it IS okay...
and don't worry we'll read the rants and support you... cuz we all take turns on the spinwheel of ranitness!
Setting boundaries is important. One thing I did (and I'm not sure if this will help you or not) is that I stopped called my day off, my day off. Our church calendar now says, "Pastor's sabbath day". It is my day to recharge.
But if I am downtown at my favorite coffee shop on my sabbath day and someone needs to talk...I will listen.
I also understand your frustrations...I live and serve in a small town too. God bless.
I have a crazy patient who saw one of my partners and immediately called me at home while I was in the throes of mono. Sh began the conversation saying "I know you're sick but..."
She called the house last week and my wife answered. The patient began "I hope I'm not interrupting your dinner" and with no pause she began unloading. When my wife said that the patient had interrupted dinner my patient began crying.
I don't know how to stop the violation of my privacy, it annoys the hell out of my, but I wonder if it is a sign of something more going on. If there is more, I really don't want to ruin my day off addressing it.
Have you ever seen the Brit-com, 'The Vicar of Dibley'? (it's available on Netflix and is hilarious) Anyway, the female vicar of small town Dibley runs into this problem in almost every episode with her oh-so-colorful parishioners. It might give you a laugh or two. ;)
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