Today I had a visit that just knocked me out. I am still wondering so many things about pastoral care, about my role as pastor and spiritual guide. And I am, in essence sad.
For this evening, I counseled a woman to leave the marriage I blessed not even a year ago.
She feels like a failure. Her husband feels like a failure. They both are squeezing so tightly and looking in such different directions that I wonder how I didn't recognize this during the pre-marital counseling.
So, in essence, I feel like I have failed both of them.
I couldn't, in good faith, counsel the woman to stay in this marriage that keeps her bitter, angry and tormented.
But a small voice has me wondering if I should attempt to preserve the institution of marriage as much as possible. Is that my call?
2 comments:
Hmmmmm... such a good question. You are not. a. failure.
No. The failure is not yours. Maybe sometimes these things just are, despite the best efforts and best intentions of all involved. This situation spoke to my own, so I guess I may be not the best judge, but truly, preserving marriage at all costs is not what we're about.
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