Holy Ground

I literally felt like removing my shoes before I entered his hospital room.

The knowledge that a place is holy ground is not always evident, but when we are in the moments that separate life and death, we actually then realize that these two are connected so deeply. Connected by the holiness that has always been there, but is now allowed to grow and encompass a room, a place because the distractions have been removed.

One of his sons asked me how people die: will their eyes remain open? will it be a sudden revelation? will it be violent or peaceful? will he just slip away?

Death is different than birth this way. Birth involves a struggle, almost a violent entrance into the world- no matter which way the child is delivered into this earth. But death- death has many forms. Preparing for death is much different than preparing for birth.

In someways it is like a trip. Many months, weeks sometimes years, even are spent preparing for embarking on a journey. But not as much time is given to the return trip home. So often we are caught unpreparedd for that journey- our bodies sometimes fight it, our mind holds onto the memories we have made during the journey.

But home is the place to which we must return. And when we arrive, we are met with kisses, hugs, and tears- and the lessons we have learned on our journey are shared and absorbed into our new/old lives.

March comes in like a Monkey?

Though we seem to be the lone area of the midwest that has sunshine and blue sky, the wind is raging outside as the snow, ice and blizzard closes every school, government office and public gathering place around us.

My confirmands prayed for a blizzard last night- And God gave one- just not to us.

It's interesting how much people anticipated this storm. They, quite literally, prayed for a snow storm. It is unusual that we have not yet been snowbound this winter, when usually we are blanketed in snow from November through April.


No matter what the theory of Global warming, it is apparent to me that this earth is heating up. The air currents are changing, bringing storms to places that are not usually prepared for them. And our response is anger, frustration and disbelief.

Why are we so surprised? We have known for years we are changing our earth home.

Hear No Evil. Speak No Evil. See No Evil

Industry: Mailings

I can't think of many jobs that have quite the contradictions ministry contains. One big example is the mail that comes across my desk on a regular basis.

One day I receive 2 catalogs for ministry apparel and vestments and right beside it, 3 reports on drought, hunger and clean water shortage in the world.

today, I receive one of my favorite combinations. I'm not certain who has me on what list, but lying on top of my desk in plan view:
1. The newsletter from Liberty University (a special thank you Mr. Falwell)
and
2. A promotional copy of the Progressive Christian.

What fascinating work this is!

To celebrate a life

Gone From My Sight
~Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength.

I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

TG for Friday Five!

Friday Five: American Idols

From the RevGals: In the spirit of believing you can do anything, as the auditioners so clearly do, please fill in the following five blanks.

1) If I could sing like anyone, it would be: Eva Cassidy. Wow. That woman was amazing. Her voice can lift me to a place of nirvana... if I, uh, was Buddhist.

2) I would love to sing the song: City of New Orleans - I love train songs. And I would love to be able to play a train song on the guitar.

3) It would be really cool to sing at: The Old Town School of Folk Music, Chicago.

4) If I could sing a dream duet it would be with: John Prine, or any of those great songwriters (Yes, I am on a kick of these guys right now) I think of Steve Goodman as well- to sing "The Dutchman" - even though Goodman didn't write it- it is such a beautiful song.

5) If I could sing on a TV or radio show, it would be: Austin City Limits. What an amazing place to share music.

How about you?

TGIF?

Thank God it's Friday- I remember those days. The days where Friday was the goal, the release day, the gateway to the weekend.

I have some colleagues who take Fridays and their day off, and I imagine TGIF is still a big mantra for them, but for me, well Fridays are very, very different now.

1. Fridays always have the shadow of a sermon hanging over them. The sermon that needs to be started, worked on, and always the hope of finishing- that never happens, of course.

2. Fridays are often spent changing the bulletin in drastic ways because of a phone call from a member, prominent person, or music-type person in the morning.

3. Fridays are the days of wedding rehearsals, and church cleanings, and desk cleanings and other things that add to # 1 above.

While I try to thank God for every day that is given to me, and view it as a precious and wonderful gift. At least for now, I will TGI Sunday afternoon....

Cold, cold Mondays

A sabbath day.

It has been about 3 weeks since the last time I was able to wake up and make a lovely pot of coffee and seriously look at all the dusting, thank you notes, cleaning bits that have been put aside for almost a month.

And they will likely get done today- because while the great outdoors is absolutely beautiful from the window, the still air temperature was at -32 degrees at 8:30am. It has warmed up to -20, but still way, way to cold for outdoor recreation. Even the dog poked her head out the door when I went to let her out, and she backed away from the shocking cold.

My dear friends and congregation members tell me that after this weather, 0 degrees will feel downright balmy. Hmmm... I'll keep the shorts packed for now. But I still look forward to a generous winter. I hope it offers me ice fishing, snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, warm mugs of cocoa and brilliant northern lights.

My prayer today is for all who struggle with heat and warmth in this cold, cold season. Whether they seek it physically or spiritually.

Renewal- Friday 5

It's been a while since I have done a RevGals Friday Five, and since it seems as though it will be a couple of weeks for me before a day off, perhaps dreaming about it (or sermon procrastinating about it) will help with the rest and renewal:

List four ways you like to relax or give yourself a break.
1. Looking out my front window in the morning (not too early, actually, not even remotely early) with a good cup of strong coffee, sitting with the puppy curled up next to me.

2. Reading fiction. Mmmm, fiction. I've been particularly fond of Lorna Landvik lately and her tales of life and living.

3. Snowshoeing- although the northland has seen little snow for this renewing activity this year. It is very much missed.

4. Cooking. It is wonderful to put together a full meal, plan the ingrediants and courses, create new additions to enhance the dish. It is a creative exercise for me- and it serves as a project with a beginning and (this is quite important) a completion. It is wonderful to complete a project successfully.

Then name a fifth, something you've never been able to do, a self-care dream.
5. While I am not certain if I would like it or not, having a week vacation at a spa or a place where I am not thinking, worrying, wondering, planning, etc. sounds heavenly. I have never been to a spa of any sorts. I am a little concerned I would get bored- but that's why we bring fiction!

How do you see renewal?

In honor of a strong and beautiful woman

As she is confined to and ICU bed, her spirit cannot be contained.

She Walks in Beauty
~By Lord Byron

She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

Industry: Religion

The latest catalogue to come across my desk:

"Buy Three Chasubles or Dalmatics, Get One of Equal or Lesser Value Free!"

So I am pretty liturgical, but I had to look up Dalmatic- and for those who do not have The Altar Guild and Sacristy Handbook, a Dalmatic is defined thus:

"In congregations in which the presiding minister wears a chasuble (Chasuble being found two pages earlier and in short: a big cape worn like a poncho over the robe and stole for celebrating the Eucharist/communion) for the Eucharist, the principal assisting minister (liturgical deacon) may wear a Dalmatic over the alb for festive celebrations. It is a less full vestment than the chasuble (read: not as much poncho) but matches in color and fabric."

Now. There is absolutely nowhere else where cheapness meets extravagance head on. One of these babies usually goes for anywhere from $250 to $1000 a piece. They are ornate, lavish and hand sewn. But if you wear one, you need at least 3 or 4 others for the other liturgical seasons. So- might as well save on one of equal or lesser value.

Only in Industry: Religion do we have this paradox.

Baptisms and Weddings

First miracle: Holy Spirit making an appearance
Second: wine, wine, and more wine- (not the cheap stuff either)

It is fitting that the lectionary gives us the story of a wedding right after the one of a baptism. I find so many similarities between the two.

In baptism, God enters into relationship long before the ceremony of baptism begins. It is that ceremony where we make very public, very important promises. It is not a ceremony that changes the relationship with God, it is our "I do" to God, it is our witness to the relationship that has already begun. Our vow to live in God's love.

That, in essence is a wedding. It is not a sacrament in the Lutheran tradition because there are no 'elements' (water, bread, wine) involved. But a wedding is so similar to a baptism: It is the public affirmation of a relationship that has already begun. The relationship is affirmed, and promises are made (the only changes are legal - taxes, benefits- not spiritual, not really). The relationship between the two who are marrying began long before the gown was chosen, the reception hall booked, the caterer called or the champagne tested.

Weddings and Baptisms, two of the most joyful celebrations we have within a worship service. Lots people, lots of long, white, slippery gowns, lots of photos, lots of food, lots of celebration, and lots of promises, made by all who gather to witness this sacred event.

Water, water everywhere: and enough for all to drink

Today, in our church community, we talked about Baptism. The whole service surrounded this wonderful sacrament. The congregation was spashed in remembrance of their baptism, while we sang, "Shall we gather at the River." The children's sermon had us gathered around the font, discussing the uses of water. We welcomed a new child into our church family by sprinkling, and I spoke in my sermon about the basic necessity of water.

I usually write my sermons out in text form for preaching. This helps me stay focused, and use the words and terms I had intended. But today, as I was closing the sermon on the beautiful sacrament of baptism, saying that the essence didn't change if baptized as a child, adult, by water sprinkles on the head or full immersion- I realized that I need to add something about those who have not been baptized.

If I had joined this service, and had not been baptized, I would have felt completely and utterly left out.

So perhaps it was just an acknowledgement of the difference, or it was a God moment, I found myself reminding people in the sermon, that if they had not been baptized, the promise was no less than if they had- it's just that Baptism is the public recognition of God's presence. But all are welcome to recognize this promise.

As I bordered on this altar call (I know, I know, but this is as close as this Lutheran Girl gets) I realized that I wanted to experience full immersion. I want to have the whole congregation take a dive into a lake this summer as we remember our Baptisms.

What a physical, sensory event that would be- all of us standing, swimming around in the sacred beauty of the water.

To take a pause...

It has been a long while since I posted. I feel inclined to apologize for that, and I am not particularly pleased with this inclination. I imagine it comes from the deep seeded need to please as many people as possible with my limited life and abilities. (They say recognizing it is the first step...)

Perhaps it is the time of year - this Advent time of preparation - that has us all running ragged. Very few people are able to find the time to prepare themselves for this amazing gift. I find myself writing newsletter articles, bulletin inserts, and sermons about taking time for preparation, but then find myself in the hypocrisy of busy-ness.

In some ways, this allows me, in my own difficulties to reach out to a congregation, reminding them that we are all in this journey of Advent together- seeking a time of peace and reflection in a world that demands results and perfection.

But in other ways, I wonder how I can be a model for others in their prayer life when mine seems to move to the bottom of the to-do list. The one place I told myself, as I left seminary, it would never go.

So we come today- to the longest night of the year in the northern hemisphere. In this dark night, a night that may show you blizzards, ice storms or clear northern lights may you find the little bit of light that shows the way:
The way of forgiveness for what has been left undone
The way of hope for living in all you have done
The way of grace for simply being you- and knowing that is enough.

Light one candle to watch for Messiah, and take a deep breath of renewal.

The first day of December

It is a beautiful day. It seems like and understatement when I look out the window with the first cup of steaming coffee- watching the sunlight glisten off of newly fallen snow, the sky is the winter purple gray, the snow falls in such a pattern that a highly trained set engineer would be proud. It is a beautiful day. It is always a treat when the weather matches my vision of what the first day of December should look like.

It is also a difficult day. I know of family members who are preparing for a funeral, of parishoners that prepare for medical tests, of friends who are carefully repairing broken relationships and seeking healing.

It is a day of rejoicing. Dear ones have heard good news of bodies free of cancer, the influenze epidemic is on the decline, and we are celebrating baptisms, new members and children's concerts this whole month.

As they say in a congregation I served in Chicago: God is good all the time, All the time, God is good.

Seeking simplicity

I find myself irritated by the long lists of things that must be completed by the end of this day. Like many of my friends and colleagues, I am frustrated because I remember a time where I relaxed into and soaked up this time of Thanksgiving. I recognize that the dream sequence in my mind of "Christmas Story' like muted colors and bells chiming in the background is really in my head. But the longing has tapped a deeper need.

When our lives are so full- full of lists, of planning, of visits, or caring for others, of planning others' time of space and worship... the need to be embraced by the holiday of security and warmth only grows.

It is often a struggle to find Holy Ground during these holidays (not to mention good holy grounds- that weak Lutheran coffee only abounds!) especially when our feet rarely touch it.

May your longing reach out to others who are longing also- as our souls seek a place of warmth.

Giving Thanks

The Friday Five this week invites us to share (at least) 5 people or things we are thankful for. I imagine that you would also find, as I did, once you begin this list, there are certainly more than 5 items that line up. I invite you also to consider and actually write or verbalize these things for yourself and for your community and loved ones.

I give thanks to God for these things:
1. For life, for breath, for the opportunity to live in the love of God.
2. for the opportunity to serve as pastor for this congregation of wonderful people.
3. For my family- my husband, my sweet puppy, my mother, sister and brother, my extended family- they continue to shape who I am.
4. For my friends, who are my family as well. Even though distance and time may separate our friendship, we still remain close in our hearts and minds.
5. For the privilege to write in this space. To have the opportunity to use and own a computer, to have the funds to use the internet. To have the freedom to speak my mind and my heart. This is not something I take lightly- many do not have this chance.

the rest, well, I look up, see all that surrounds me, and I give thanks.

Gifts of the Spirit

The Gifts of the Spirit are an amazing thing. The beauty of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control encounters us in many ways.

A new encounter greeted the Thursday morning women's group as they came into church this morning. The gifts were written on brightly colored poster board, and "self-control" covered the rather large hole inadvertantly made by a young man at confirmation last night...

Ah, the gifts of the spirit, they come to us in so many ways!

Holy Ground: Sweet Land

Films, whether Hollywood, Independent or Foreign seem to be released in a "feast or famine" trend in this society. I will go months without any one catching my eye (which could, of course be related to the fact that theater (singular) has one per week and the cinema 6 is 30 miles away) and other times, like this month, there are a whole host of films I can hardly wait to experience.

I have seen many great films in the past couple weeks, but the most wonderful was, this past Sunday in the 'big city,' Sweet Land.

This achingly beautiful film lifts up tension that was felt in the 1920s and is still felt today. The need for community, for love, for compassion and for hope is so amazingly brought together in this film.

Of course, the beautiful farmed prairie also hit my heartstrings as I was treated to images of home. If you get a chance, experience this movie.

A November morning

Today I received an unexpected gift. The gift of time. With this unexpected gift, the gift of sunshine, of a clear, crisp day, a finished sermon and a great cup of coffee has me taking deep breaths for the first time in a while. (deep breaths also due in part to the fact that my head cold has finally declared a retreat)

What beauty is found on these cold autumn days. Even though snow has come and gone a few times, it is still autumn. Even though this far north the trees have long since lost their leaves, the beauty of this season is evident.

The beauty that is the birdsongs around the feeders. The beauty that is the woodfire smoke in the air. The beauty that is the crisp breeze that sharpens the skin and tingles the nose. The beauty that is the hearty bowl of soup that energizes the whole body.

There is a clarity that comes with this time of year. When one can see, hear, and smell for miles. Sometimes this stark clarity can be difficult and can feel like a death of summer.

But for most who live in northern climes, it is permission to experience the world in its simplicity. What a gift.

Where are all those pastors going?

I came across this post in a fellow blogger's musings- and it rang quite true. The Post while not authored by this blogger is sparking good conversation. And it reminds me of an earlier post I made in August, Industry: Religion.

It comes at a time when I feel like the program director of this congregation rather than the pastor. It is so difficult to find the time to develop my own spiritual capacities so I can minister to others. Rather, my time is spent fundraising, finding youth and sunday school curricula, hiring staff and organizing.

At seminary, I would often ask for classes in non-profit management and administration. As the daughter of a pastor, I had an idea that this would be necessary. To a time I was told not to worry, someone in the congregation would have expertise on staffing, finances and education. No classes on that here, just study your Hebrew.

Now, I would never trade my study of theology and Bible, but this seems to be an outright denial of the pastoral call as it plays out in congregations. My previous experience working at a non-profit helped my make some initial good decisions in administration- the rest, well, they come from a personnel savy husband, a book and gut feelings.

If I was called to "schedule, mediate and administer the programs" I would be less likely to find myself tired, sick and dreaming of a job on CSI where the cases are solved in 1 hour with commercials.

But my letter of call says "preach, teach and admisister the sacrements" to be a pastor to the church of God. If the former job description is a part of this call, let's just name it for all the future pastors.